I absolutely love this chubby mermaid!
She is beautiful, and fearless and is just so happy. I love this artist on Instagram and I suggest following her.
This post is about being fearless in the beach of life...because life can be a beach!
I love waking up at 5am, looking outside and seeing the beautiful Durban sun. Before, I used to hate that sight, it meant that it was going to be a terribly hot and humid day. But now, I embrace it, I look forward to it. By 5.30am I have rambled up a friend and I am on my way to the beach, not a fancy one, not one that I have to drive 1000 miles to, just by own 15 mins away humble South Beach.
Nothing fancy on me, no picnic basket, no sunglasses not even a towel on most days. Just me and the ocean. Nothing more, nothing less.
Before I used to stay at the shallow part of the beach, I would enjoy the waves breaking against my knees. I was always told to stay there, don't go in too deep. I thought that only great swimmers could swim passed the waves. I didn't question it. I used to look at the surfers and people beyond the waves and think that they were crazy.
But I was happy in the shallow end. I could sit and allow the lil' waves to engulf me a bit. I thought that that was the whole experience. I took it, as well as a bucket load of sand under my costume that I had acquired from sitting in the shallow end.
Then one day, a friend showed me what it was like to swim beyond the breaking of the waves. I don't know if he wanted to go there, or if I felt safe going out when I had the support, but there I was. The truth is, in this unventured space, I thought that I would be terrified but I wasn't. I was in absolute peace.
Before the waves break, the deeper you go, the stronger and scarier the waves get. I always wanted to venture out deeper but I hated being tossed about, It really is terrible, not being in control, wanting more, being smacked down over and over again. I just wanted to enjoy the beach for what it was and then...BAM! another wave! rolling around, salt water in my eyes and up my nose and before I can get up and see what is going on...I would get slapped over by another wave.
I don't know who else had a terrible 2016, but I definitely did. In fact I have had a terrible time for a very long time, and the harder I tried the stronger the waves came at me. And somehow, it became about picking myself up and trying not to drown than actually enjoying my life for what it was.
But when I learnt to swim beyond the waves...wow. Yes, I had to fight a couple waves to get there, but also I learnt to go under them. I had a friend to hold my hand when I got tossed around (it's easy for me to get tossearound, I am short and I have no balance whatsoever). But he was there, laughing with me when I looked like an idiot rolling around. But we carried on and in a couple minutes, we were in a beautiful place beyond the breaking of the waves.
It wasn't as deep as I thought it would be, in fact, I could stand by myself. It was peaceful. And the waves here weren't against use, when they came, they lifted me up gently and placed me back down. I even learnt how to jump with them and enjoy that little challenge. Big obstacles seemed so much easier before they became chaos. Even when I couldn't touch the ocean floor, I felt no fear. I was one with the ocean and I went with it. I felt peace in something that I had been fighting for so long.
Here we could talk and relax and enjoy each other's company while we floated without the roaring of the breaking waves. I didn't have to keep track of when the waves were coming so that we could prepare for them, we didn't have to stand our ground and try not to fall over. Here we could concentrate on enjoying the sky, the birds and even some dolphin sounds in the water. I have never heard dolphins myself, and that day I did. Something that would never have happened in the shallow end.
I used this metaphor to think about my life. We have to venture past all the point of chaos. Because life shouldn't be about the chaos. We shouldn't have to keep on fighting against it and I guess, once we realise that this is only part of a much bigger experience can be actually find peace in it. It may be scary at first, maybe no one you know has done it, but it is possible. Maybe you just need a good friend to hold your hand the first time, to let you know that there is more, to make you see that life is not only about those stupid harsh waves, but the ebbing ones that lift you ever so gently and make you feel like you're flying.
So, I know it is scary. But maybe, when you are ready, come swim beyond the waves with me.
